Netizens Call Out Marriage Counselor For Sexist Advice

A divorce mediator is receiving criticism for outdated views on marriage.

A China-based government-assigned divorce mediator convinces couples not to separate, usually for the sake of their children if the couple has them. In 2021, the city of Suqian in the eastern province of Jiangsu launched a divorce mediation scheme in which couples are assigned counselors along with a one-month “cooling off” policy.

Still from “The World of the Married” | JTBC

The government has seen positive results. Reportedly, at least 1,000 couples have retracted divorce applications in that area.

The controversial counselor in question is a 57-year-old woman whose surname is Liang. She retired from a 30-year career as a kindergarten principal and has been hired as a counselor.

With her vast experience of working as a kindergarten principal, Liang said she had seen how negatively affected children could be by divorce. She had used examples of these effects to persuade the wife.

— China Morning Post

Liang explained that half of her cases involve wives making divorce applications upon discovering their husbands had an affair. Still, she would attempt to talk the wives out of the divorce.

In “Show Window: The Queen’s House,” Song Yoon Ah’s husband hides the fact that he has a mistress. | Channel A

On the other hand, Liang didn’t have the same energy if the husband wanted to divorce his adulterous wife. Liang confessed that she would not “work as hard to stop them.”

When betrayed wives attempt to explain to Liang that they cannot turn a blind eye to their husbands’ unfaithfulness, Liang responds with a lack of compassion and empathy. She defended the men by saying, “Look, TV drama series often show this kind of behaviour. In today’s society, if a man doesn’t have an affair, it implies he lacks charm.”

In “Marry My Husband,” Park Min Young’s husband cheats on her with her best friend.

Liang explained her “hypocritical” reasoning. She said, “A man can easily find another woman after a divorce, but it’s different for a woman. If you’re a divorced woman with a child, what can you do?” So, Liang believes a man could easily find another wife, but no man would want to marry a single mother.

In K-Drama “Two Wives,” Kim Ho Jin’s character divorces his wife to marry his mistress. | SBS

Liang revealed a recent case as a specific example. A woman in her 30s confronted her husband upon viewing his WeChat conversations. He admitted that he had a mistress. Despite this, Liang convinced the wife not to divorce him.

The wife was distraught and emotional. But after her emotions stabilised, I began to convince her to focus on her kid. I told her that children are a mother’s weakness as women usually prioritise children.

— Liang

“King the Land” scene | JTBC

Some might think Liang is not empathetic. Yet, besides using her insights as a former kindergarten principal, she also revealed that her husband had cheated on her. She will sometimes tell the wives seeking a divorce that “her husband had an affair when their son was at secondary school, but she continued to live with him for decades afterwards ‘for the benefit of my kid’.” 

It’s impossible not to have any problems in our lives. In this era with plenty of online temptation, it’s uncommon for a man not to cheat.

— Liang

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Liang’s marriage advice as a counselor has sparked criticism on mainland China’s social media. Many see her opinions as “old-fashioned” and “sexist.”

Netizen 1: “This mediator’s views are toxic.”

Netizen 2: “I’m speechless. Why are children a mother’s weakness and not a father’s? Why should the mother prioritise her child, and the father not do that?”

Netizen 3: “The best atmosphere in a family for a kid is a good relationship between his parents. If a couple cannot get along well, they should divorce and give their kid a peaceful environment.”

What do you think?